One time I found a new way to get disappointed.

Have you ever watched a movie and just been so disappointed because even your most boring interpretations of the material renders a more entertaining film? Do you ever feel like there’s something wrong with an industry where the quality is that of a procrastinated group project presentation that’s going to get a C or less, but cost more money than you will ever have? See, that happened with Solo for me. Then I didn’t interact with Star Wars. Then the 9th Movie comes out. Okay, maybe I should watch the 8th one. I borrowed the Blu-Ray. I watch the Blu Ray. While there’s some weird stuff and low points and some undercooked stuff, it’s the undercooked food that won’t make me trade my task chair for a porcelain one. So I watch 8. I text the friend I borrowed the disc from. Hey, 8 was actually a little better than I thought it would be. Let’s go watch 9 in the theaters. I’m just going to go. I’m usually tired after watching a movie, in a way that I need to do something or mentally decompress. But this time, I had  to know. I’m relatively checked out of things but I’m friends with Star Wars fans and such so I do hear things. So I go and see 9. I want to record some of these feelings because it’s been some time since I saw it, but close enough I still haven’t forgotten my feelings. Spoilers ahead, I guess?

So, I was fairly checked out. No hype cycle, little coverage (I knew it was in theaters!), no marketing, no cereal, no food product tie-in, etc. I skipped on 8 in theaters for a variety of reasons, but one of them was I didn’t feel like it after 7. So while not perfect or anything, 8 was actually good enough that I decided to just go to the theater. I think at most three hours had passed since I watched credits on 8 to opening crawl of 9. I bought the ticket while walking to the car. First line in opening crawl: blah blah blah EMPEROR PALPATINE. Wait what. Why? Huh? I know there’s potential for opening crawls, acts to be time skips from the previous movie. But this is full vibe skip. I like Palpatine, but like… not for the reasons a director or story person might bring him back for… I liked the ham. Ian McDiarmid is actually pretty good as him. As for what I remember what he means to the plot? No, I actually don’t get it. I was quickly informed this wouldn’t be surprising if I had heard MEDIA FRANCHISE TIE IN STUFF IN FORKNIFE. Okay. Wow. Hmm. A part of me wants to go ‘ah, that Walk Disney Company money’ but in truth, Lucasfilm would do weird crap like that too. Maybe not for movie promo, but they were fine doing tie-ins. 

Opening is a bit of a time skip and everyone is in a rush aaaaand Speak n’ Spell Leia is kiiiinda weird. If other things happened before she shows up I just forgot it. I just remember it as a mess and characters are here but nobody seems to be in the same kind of character they were last two movies (what I remembered anyway). Lots of the weird McGuffin chasing and plot movement is so weird I can’t even summarize here. This isn’t just a time thing, I forgot most of that in the weeks after I sat in the theater. It eventually gets to the concluding part which is the part that… actually starts to kinda make sense. It’s just that… I actually still think it’s just weird stuff. It really does feel like a procrastinated essay typed until people fall asleep and turn in at 8am the next day because thats when it has to happen. I remember seeing Finn in it. For someone so prominently featured for the first one in this trilogy I sure can’t recall anything memorable. Ben Solo gets an ending that doesn’t feel… Star Wars-y enough, nor satisfactory either. Dude did bad shit and he gets an easy out. Rey.. exists. C grade. The C grade a teacher gives you because their school needs to graduate people so that teacher can’t give you a D-. Oh right Rose exists. Wow everyone got done dirty here. Actors deserved better roles and support, Characters deserved more thought. I thought they were getting more actual Star Wars Universe thought in 8, but 9 was so freaking weird. 

Star Wars actually has an easy way out in writing and it feels like nobody took it. If you can’t pull from Star Wars sci-fantasy, you can pull from where it pulls from. Much later I had watched Star Wars Visions. That is filled with a ton of imagination, though in comparison to The Animatrix it is more limited. Japanese action samurai films are an easy pull because there’s sword fights. Clone Wars has (hamfisted) callbacks to the media that inspired it. By 9, if that franchise wanted an ‘easy’ way to at least be cool and imaginative despite being poorly thought out, it could pull from so much. Will they do a ‘good’ job? Probably not. Still has a better gamble at being better than what I saw. 

Y’know what would’ve been ‘cool’? If you’re going to drop Palpatine in, actually have him be manipulative on screen. Yes, his gimmick is super long term gambles. That long term gamble should’ve been a few lines and set dressing. If he’s going to be Street Fighter Dictator with Bison clones, atleast make him a fighting opponent. Star Wars (film series) is actually quite simple, so if I have to ask someone ‘What’s the sith army from nowhere supposed to be reference to?’ and didn’t grok it myself then what’s the freakin point. If how the force controls life and death, why isn’t Ben wandering planets he’s messed up trying to fix them for eternity. When you show me the titles “The Last Jedi” and “Rise of Skywalker” I go “Oh, Jedi (and Sith?) are obliterated. The way Light/Dark are presented and the balance as has been is gone. A new fresh future with the force will happen or something and Skywalker is a title.” Especially after 8 which got real close to leading Star Wars away from stupid bloodline crap. Hero/Villain bloodline is boring crap and can have negative effects when you want to make grander statements about what people can do. I’m sure some Star Wars thing I watch down the line is going to be like “no, other Jedi were alive they just weren’t in the same system as movie plot.” but ugh that was so weird. 

I got the idea to watch the next movie the same day I watched the middle one. I don’t think I’ll do that again. I probably wouldn’t have as many thoughts if I watched them at release pacing or even a day. Instead, hours. Hours separated credits to opening and that kinda backfired. There’s some good stuff in there, but the dissatisfaction was amplified by how and when I saw it. And it still lingers occasionally when I have to think about that part of Star Wars.